Purim romance - a look at Esther and Achashverosh

Shalom!

I've been pretty busy lately. Reading books for the blog, editing my first novel (again!), and trying to create my own book cover. I will make a separate post about the latter when I'm done. 

And that is all on top of my regular mommy,  wife, and house responsibilities. Don't ask me about the pile of unfolded laundry in my room. 

But I would be remiss not to make a post about Purim. It's one of my favorite holidays but it also has a romantic dynamic at its core. In case you don't recall the story, here's a quick summary:

1) After feeling slighted at his feast/drink-binge, King Achashverosh of Persia has his queen executed.

2) The next morning a sober Achashverosh realizes his "oopsie" and holds a beauty contest to find a new bride

3) Hadassah, a Jewish woman, is forced to enter the contest but uses a fake name, Esther, to hide her true identity

4) The King likes her and decides to marry her

5) Mordechai, Esther's uncle, thwarts a plot of kill the king, which gets written in the records but he doesn't get so much as a wet handshake

6) Achashverosh's new number 2 Haman (boo!) wants everyone to bow down to him. When Mordechai refuses, Haman's (boo!) ego is so hurt that he wants to kill all the Jews. And the King agrees. 

7) Mordechai and the Jews find out about the decree and fast. He urges Esther to intervene

8) Esther is scared. Her husband is volatile. It's understandable. She hasn't been asked to see Achashverosh she puts her life at risk to ask him for a meal with Haman (boo!)

9) That night Achashverosh wakes up and realizes "Oh, yeah, Mordechai saved my life and I didn't even thank him." Side note, we're starting to see a pattern in Achashverosh's behavior. The man doesn't seem to think everything through. Maybe it is for that reason that Esther asked him for a second meal instead of unburdening herself right away 

10) Mordechai is honored, and Haman (boo!) is humiliated in the process

11) At the second meal, Esther reveals her true identity and how Haman (boo!) plans to have her murdered too

12) Achashverosh has Haman (boo!) executed and declares that the Jews can defend themselves during the upcoming violence. In the end the saying "they wanted to kill us, we survived, let's eat" is once again confirmed. 

The Purim story, Megillat Esther, has strong romantic elements. 

I made this Venn diagram to illustrate:

But despite these overlaps, I can't call Esther and King Achashverosh's story a romance exactly. While the relationship between them is one of the major conflicts in this story, and there is a happy ending (the survival of the Jews), Esther doesn't get her happy ending. 

The King is attracted to Esther. It is repeatedly written that she found favor in his eyes. When she approaches him uninvited, he tells her romantically that she can request up to half of his empire. And when he first decides to marry her it is written that he loved her more than all the other women. But, hold up. Other women? Yes, Achashverosh kept a harem of them. He's an interesting character but Esther didn't love him back.

She stayed with him despite that. What choice did she have? Sure, she does keep a life in luxury and obtains political power. She has to give up her freedom. Even worse, according to some interpretations, Esther was actually married to Mordechai. Although the megillah doesn't tell us if she loved Mordechai, if she didn't it means that he was married twice without love. 

But Esther carries this sacrifice with grace. All she asks of us is to remember it. So with that, I wish you a Purim sameach, happy Purim! And please remember to hear the megillah twice.

With love 💓

Telem

P.S. Can anyone recommend an Esther adaptation?