Orthodox Jews don't read romance, or do they?

A while ago I pitched my first novel to frum publishers. Frum is the Yiddish word for religious btw. Some years before, a frum publisher had published "Pride and Preference" by Barbara Bensoussan and seeing as my book was a Pride and Prejudice adaptation set in Israel, I assumed I had a shot. 

I don't want to reveal who gave me which rejection but be kitzur, in short, they all rejected it. I don't think one of them read the manuscript. But while most rejections were polite, and some even commended me for the idea, one rejection stood out to me. Of course, I can only assume the tone of an email and there's a chance I misinterpreted it. But just so you can read it the way I did, I added emojis and internal thoughts in parentheses to the text: 


Dear Tamar, ๐Ÿง

Thank you for submitting your book for our review. 

As [➖️➖️➖️➖️]'s main clientele is the Chareidi [Ultra orthodox]readership,we don't take on romance books at all.๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ก [The very thought! The notion!]

We sincerely wish you much bracha and hatzlacha with everything. [Bless your heart ๐Ÿ˜€]

Okay, I may have exaggerated a little but the principle that romance novels are totally out of the question is funny to me. Love is a huge concept in Judaism. There are too many examples to list in one post so I'll just mention two examples. First, in the Shma prayer, Hashem tells us to love him with all of our heart. Second, the Shir haShirim, Song of Songs, is an allegory of the love between G-d and the Jewish People, written as a ballad between two lovers. 

I'm not saying that my writing compares to the significance of these texts. What I am saying though is that there should be space for Jewish romance. In fact, there are several frum novels with romantic elements. 

I think there are three reasons for the opposition to frum romance novels.

1) Unrealistic expectations 

Novels are fiction. They aren't manuals for successful relationships. Fiction is supposed to entertain. But although most people know this is true, every five years or so there are new scandals over books aimed at young women in the secular publishing world. Some fear that frum romance will similarly have a negative influence.

2) Forbidden romances

Look up some romance novels featuring Orthodox Jews on Amazon. Read their descriptions. Now take a shot every time you find one of an Orthodox Jew involved in a forbidden relationship, like adultery or someone not Jewish. Or maybe don't. That's a lot of alcohol. I'm not saying that those novels aren't well written. They may be. But chareidi readers would probably have an issue with them.

3) What if my teens read them?

Maybe as adults the first two points become lesser problems. However, some people worry about their teens getting exposed to spicy literature. Spicy= sexual, in case that wasn't clear.

I hear these concerns but I think that there's a solution to them: Nuance. 

I'd like to finish with a famous Yalta quote (Talmud, Chullin 109b - 12):

Yalta said to her husband, Rav Nachman: Now as a rule, for any item that the Merciful One prohibited us, He permitted a similar item. 

Yalta then lists examples from sexual relationships to food. Why should romance novels be the exception? 

I'm currently working through a list of frum lit with romantic elements. If you have any recommendations, please comment on this post. ๐Ÿ™‚

With love,

Tamar aka Telem

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